in the middle of trying to focus on typing up case notes for the ohio department of aging, and listening to pandora, and flipping occassionaly to my facebook, and reading personal emails from personal people, and listening to my clients on the phone that i wear on my head, and reading emails from supervisors and overhearing coworkers in their cubes and wishing the air conditioner wasn't up so high --i thought i had to start writing something and then i thought of xanga.

oh, where have you been xanga? probably trying to not be such a junior high ansty person and try not to let people know disimportant info about my life  --i forgot about it. BLOG! at least i can use it for something, i guess. i guess that instead of talking about ridiculous stuff --like the most recent boy that broke my heart, i could talk about important things --like how the most recent election in iran seemed a little unsettling...

i have the WORST feeling in my belly when i see what is on my facebook. ugh. i've thought very seriously about shutting it down. i have, at least, blocked some people that upset me the most. my emotional health is at risk!!! ahhh!!! it's hard for me to swallow the words that i read. hard for me to think that i actually know people that think the things i read. harder even still to think that there's any relationship between us. i'm bothered.

really, really, i just wanna post some pics of my stepson. say what's goin' on in my life so the world knows and be an advocate every once in awhile about issues that are dear to my heart. i really don't wanna be a jerk or tell you how dumb you are or how you're probably goin' to hell for xyandz... and i really don't wanna know if you think that i'll probably go to hell for xy and z or if you think i'm dumb or uninformed or... call it "sticking my head in the sand" or being in denial or whatever... i'm a friggin adult (who actually is pretty well educated --no matter how young i am).. i get to choose to eat icecream at lunch or call in "sick" to work, or lie on my taxes, or bounce a check, or live with my boyfriend, or question authority, or buy $200 jeans, or eat mcdonald's 200 days in a row... (you pick which will send me to hell faster and don't give me that "a sin's a sin" crap cause we all know you have a pecking order for what you think is the worst --why else would someone choose abortion to be the #1 issue over gay rights?) and if things get really screwed up, i'll take credit for that too.

believe me and don't be such a sucker.

Apolitical Politics

9/01/2008

Source: the Twilight's Own

So, I saw the speech.
I've decided I'm voting for the Scary Black Guy. Not sure why he's "Scary" but every time I turn around, someone is saying that so why confuse the issue?
Even though his last name rhymes with OSAMA which means he's probably closet Al Qaeda, I'm gonna vote for him.
Yes indeed: I'm voting for the dude with the Middle Name That Is Too Evil To Be Named, even though he's good looking and people like him, therefore almost CERTAINLY the Anti-Christ.
(Plus he's - y'know - BLACK. That's terrifying, right? I mean - we have all those velvet pictures of Ted Nugent, err, Jesus - so "I get it." He is Scary.)
And yes... I'm considering voting for him even though he's a member of THAT party.

First thing's first - I'm not a member of any party. Never have been. So to me... they're all THAT party.

I have never voted Republican or Democrat. I usually find some random person I know won't win and I decide to make that person's day. I can say I voted and know that whatever New Devilry rears its ugly head, it wasn't me that put it there.
I get to berate whomever gets the gig AND I have a response for that weird guy who always seems to be around during those rants with, "Well, didja even VOTE? Y'know, you can't say nuthin' 'less ya vote! Gub. Durh. Talking. Etc."
I vote for Random Candidate and everybody wins!
I see it as me looking out for the greater good: I get to tell the everyone I think the president sucks - Random Candidate gets to tell everyone "I told you so! We're gettin' through!"
Hello? I don't mean to brag but... that's a big Win/Win.

Chicken? No, actually.
Non-committal? Absolutely.
We're told we can vote any way we want and that our voices matter because we matter and all that jazz and blah, blah, blah - then we get the same two guys on the ballot, election after election. WHY ON EARTH WOULD I COMMIT TO SOMEONE I'VE ALWAYS CONSIDERED A JOKE? Up until this point, my only motivation to vote for either faction's poster-boy has been the possibility that pretending to care would cure my boredom.

Of COURSE I'm non-committal! Turns out: all along, my indifference was just... integrity!

It's not just out of an effort to give the Ol' One-Fingered Salute to these prefab, so-called parties that I've never voted for one or the other. It's not just the fact that none of the candidates have ever said a single word that has made me feel any emotion other than spite, disgust or cynicism. (Question: Is cynicism an emotion? Well... IT SHOULD BE!) It's not even that I think my vote is unimportant.
It's that none of them have ever resonated with me - none of them have ever moved me. So, I just say, "No." (Thanks, Nancy. Some of us still remember.)

I'm not afraid to go on record and say that Barack moved me at his acceptance speech. I've been reading one of his books (Audacity of Hope) and that thing has moved me, too. (I still have a way to go... maybe he'll send me into a more familiar and comfortable tailspin of doubt and skepticism later - there's still plenty of room for it.) He's inspired me by his composure and his ability to orate - and like it or not, this country loves that crap. So, he passes the surface test - but, given my American Contemporary Christian upbringing, paranoia sets in and I must ask: is he a Saul or a David?
Well, I have to say that he's inspired me at times by what he hasn't done as much as by what he has - and I honestly can't remember ever having said that. Is it possible that he's neither?

Please understand, I'm not "inspired" by the possibility of a black man becoming president. Obviously, it's great to see some "progress," but in ten years, stories like this:
http://www.cnn.com/US/9902/23/dragging.death.03/
have only been replaced by stories like this:
http://www.usdoj.gov/opa/pr/2008/May/08-crt-395.html

And still further, it took me roughly 19 seconds to find a story like this:
http://www.startribune.com/local/25472764.html?location_refer=Homepage:highlightModules:1
The lesson here: let's not get carried away. Making one step of "progress" on the Racial Front while taking a massive leap backward on the Humanity Front doesn't mean a lot to me - it may be better than nothing, but it's not "all better."

Back to the speech: I suppose the aspect of The Speech that triggers my American Cultural Christianity-based Paranoia (ACCP) is the fact that it made sense AND gave me a little confidence in the potential for a true Leader to take the office of Prez. Is this because most of my Christian upbringing came at the hands of former hippies who, seemingly as a genetic predisposition, don't trust the Government? I have no idea... and I'm tired of trying to figure it out. I call myself "aware," and I hope that I haven't misspoken.

I don't think this guy is God or a prophet or a spiritual leader.
C'mon.
I think he has a fresh take and he's not afraid, in an age of so much indifference, to try and sell such ideas as Hope, Inspiration, Confidence, and Personal Responsibility. The stupidly-named blogosphere hates that... stuff.

Why is it that a man I find more inspiring (or intelligent or wise or sincere or...) than George W. Bush jumps from being a better potential President of the United States to Six Sixty Six? I've never really looked to the office of President for spiritual guidance - and since I've been alive, I can't think of a clean slate candidate who could have justified such a role. IN FACT, I think I'm extra skeptical (is that even possible???) of any elected official who might seek to fill that role - last I checked, God appoints church leaders, not politicians - and often times the most effective ones say very little about politics and tend to lean more toward the whole Bible thing. Jus' sayin.

And I beg you: If you've been itching to bring up Abortion as the reason why I'm totally nuts for digging this guy, I ask you to just stop and think about what you're saying. We're wrapping up 8 years of a legislation that cashed in on the belief of many Pro-Life Americans that they were on "our side" of the debate, and yet... nothing has changed. Some big talking has come down the pipe, but are we any closer to ending the scourge of our times? If we are, it ain't 'cause of THAT GUY.
This is the first candidate for Prez who's said, "let's talk about what we agree on first, and proceed from there." (How about this: read Chapter 2 of The Audacity of Hope and we can talk about it.) Not a hard enough line for you? I'm sorry, but I don't know how you get there. I believe that abortion is murder - but I don't want someone to agree with me just so I'll vote for them, then... do nothing about it. I say: let's work from a common understanding and see what we can change.
Basically, the same goes for all of those favorite buttons - Same-sex marriage, the Death Penalty, The Ten Commandments, Creation, and so forth.
On one hand, we have the law in a world where we don't belong, on the other we have the eternal precepts of God.

I didn't become a Christian because someone said I had to.
There are two separate issues here.

I HAVE to separate my beliefs regarding morality and politics - not because I think the Bible is wrong, but because I believe that conviction of the Holy Spirit is a much more effective tool toward seeing God's Word carried out than a law forcing people to agree with me. To me, seeing the President as a person to get people in a right relationship with Jesus is like using a wrench to fix a nosebleed.
(By the way - if we could stop abortion-as-birth-control, would you consider that progress? I would. Yeah, I think somebody just spray-painted my house for writing that. Can't tell if it reads, "IT'S A CHILD NOT A CHOICE" or "MY BODY MY CHOICE" - maybe I'll check it out when I go steal my neighbor's newspaper to read what's gonna happen with this trivial little issue:
http://www.worldpress.org/Africa/3236.cfm
What? I'm sorry... wasn't this what we were talking about?)
I'll say this: if McCain would say, straight out, "I'm going to fight abortion-as-birth-control, and I promise that it will be a priority" I would have a much different view of him. Seeing as any time it might benefit him to be known as Pro-Life he's allowed it, why not just... come on out and say it? Again... what do you really want in your leaders?

So... there you go. People keep asking, "'Change' - what does he actually mean?" Read, please. Read the book. Tell me what you think. I want to know - and the election hasn't happened yet. I'm reading a man who asks EVERYBODY to take some responsibility. THAT, is new. That's what I'm into - but I'm more than willing to be shown the error of my ways.

I'll wrap it up with this, and I know I'm gonna get some grief for it:
Barack Obama is the first candidate I've been exposed to since I've been able to vote - and since I've CARED - that seems like he SHOULD be the President. Right now, that might be enough for my beloved country to experience that Most Unique of unique ideas:
Hope.

Some musings on the topic:

Until "The Speech" I couldn't help but notice that this was the first time I'd ever seen a candidate who's OWN PARTY seemed to NOT want their Person to win.

When the debates were raging, did anyone notice that as Obama's momentum grew, the pictures of Hilary seemed to change? She went from being the Strong Independent Woman to... the Lady With Crazy Eyes?

How did I get nothing but "Reverend Wright" news for weeks - months - but Hilary's bold-faced lie got so little press that I wouldn't be surprised that McCain had actually forgotten it?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8BfNqhV5hg4

Could you, with a straight face, call someone "Out of Touch" with the needs of a nation in economic uncertainty while simultaneously forgetting how many homes you own? I own one - and believe me, I've tried to forget that but it just isn't possible.

I don't think that I could have written this blahg if the person tabbed by Obama would have been Hilary. "Dream Ticket" or total and complete 180º?

Hey all you homeowners - What's scarier? President Obama or President McCain?

After hearing how irresponsible (or was it insecure?) the "barely qualified" Obama was for naming "loose cannon" Biden as V.P., how do you feel about our nation being led by 71-year-old McCain (I know you say you're healthy, John. But I ask again... how many homes do you own?) and one-heartbeat-away Sarah Palin?

Off Topic:
With respect to the displaced, anybody get the feeling that The Media was a little disappointed in Gustav?

-- Mark, from Stavesacre